This article was written for my old website SabrinaJensen.com. All the old articles are of today 17th of September 2021 moved to Boglund.com, and the SabrinaJensen.com website will close down soon!
We all have something that makes us different. And THANK GOD for that! Imagine how the world would look like if everyone were the same.
I think it’s important, we embrace what makes us different, and take a look at all the positive impacts it has. It hurts my heart when I hear young girls wanting to change everything about themselves because they feel so insecure. Being a teenager is probably the hardest time for everyone. I know for sure, I wouldn’t go back and relive my teenage years!
Don’t be like everyone else – Be original.
I’m going back and forth about how much I should share about my personal life, my disorder and the challenges which go along with it. I want the blog to be an honest place, and I’m a very open person… sometimes too open, and it had sometimes hit me in my tush.
I’m not ready to share my diagnosis with the whole internet, but I’m open about having PTSD and that my diagnosis is a personality disorder. I think my entire issue with it is, first and foremost, I don’t want to be judged upon it because very few had ever heard about that personality disorder. I want to show that it’s possible to have a prosperous, successful and stress-free life while having a diagnosis.
Next, I have a very ambivalent with diagnosis’. It can be great to explain the circumstances, but it can also very easily make us sicker than we really are. I mean, if you google some symptoms and suddenly you’re convinced you to have cancer through it’s only the flu. I think it’s kind of scary, that the psychiatrists’ book of diagnosis actually can give every single person a psychical diagnosis based upon personal characteristics.
I haven’t researched so much about my personality disorder, so I only know what I had been told at the psychiatry and how it influences my life. The research will maybe happen when I have more resources and feel more ready.
So why do I bring up my personality disorder on my blog and in an article about embracing our flaws? Well, I deal with things by talking about it and using my own experiences to bring focus to the topic I try to embrace. In this case; how being different can impact our lives.
Make peace with what makes you different.
When I got my personality disorder in March and got a description of the disorder, I felt a huge release. I had been misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder since 2010, but never did I recognize myself in that diagnosis. Thankfully did the doctor on the psychiatry agree with the Borderline was totally off. I love when I’m right, especially when the other part is an authority.
My new personality disorder makes so much sense, and I can recognize myself in it… and most importantly, I now have an explanation of why I feel the way I do and why I act the way I do. I’m maybe unnormal according to society, but it’s totally normal according to that disorder. Even more important is it, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
It’s human nature to wants to belong and not being an outcast.
I had been different my entire life. It has always been difficult for me to fit in because I am experiencing life in a whole other way than the majority. All my spiritual senses had been wide open from the day I was born.
Clairvoyance – Clear Seeing
Clairaudience – Clear Hearing
Claircognizance – Clear Thinking
Clairsentience – Clear Feeling
I was bullied so much in school I ended up with heavy depression and was on sick leave for 3 months. That’s the official reason, but without being a doctor, I think the domestic violence also played a role in that depression.
I had been used to people judging me and talking behind my back since a very early age.
My mother once told me, the only reason she got my brother, sister and I was to give her something to hurt my dad with, and she never loved me. That’s maybe the most hurtful thing I ever had heard, but it didn’t surprise me at all.
I’m not a social person. I hate crowded places and so sensitive to sounds that I can hear what every person, in the same room as I, are talking about. I get a social hangover. Yes, I’m an introvert and highly sensitive.
I do and say weird things, not because I’m a crazy person, but because it is hilarious… at least inside my head. My dad sometimes jokes with it and tell my sister the craziest (untrue) stories of things I had (not) done, and she cringes because she believes it to be true. The worst part is, she knows I’m capable of doing it if I’m in the mood for it. ?
One of the characteristics of my personality disorder is odd behavior and being eccentric. That was something which gave my sister a huge relief… and ruined a bit of my fun. Yes, I had put on a crazy hat and went out together with my sister, just because I knew my she would cringe. I do it because of the fun of it, and not for the attention. When it comes to what I wear and saying, I really don’t care what other people are saying or thinking. It’s their own stuff… I know my own reasons to do and say as I do, and I own it.
My flaws make me beautiful
When I learned to accept myself as who I am and stop trying to fit into the society and the norm, things started to shift. As I had said before, my sick leave has been a blessing in disguise, and it had forced me to embrace those things which makes me vary from the norm.
Do I want to change something? Yes, of course, I would like to get rid of the negative things about having a personality disorder. It is annoying, I don’t know whether I have a good day or a really bad day tomorrow. I want to change that I have an almost nonexistent stress tolerance. Among other things…
But dwelling with that will get me nowhere; it would only get things worse.