Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! If you’re single, it might be an even stronger reminder that you’re without a partner.
One of the saddest things I’ve heard is people, often girls, trying desperately to find a partner because they’re afraid of being single. They rather settle with an unhappy relationship with someone who doesn’t truly appreciate and respect them than wait until they find someone who genuinely loves them and respects them.
Tip #1 – Love Should Be Confused With the Need of Company.
Love is a very delicate thing, yet it’s the strongest force in the Universe. Often people think of Love as a romantic thing or the care between you and your family and friends. That is only the tiny tip of the iceberg!
As humans, we need a sense of belonging. That’s the root of why we love our family and our friends. It’s our tribe and, hopefully, our support system.
Yet, we still seek more love from the world around us. – Some people even say, “I want everyone to love me!” or “I want to do whatever I can to make everybody love me!”
I’m sorry to be the one who tells you this, but that is super selfish and is something that 100% comes from your Fear-Based Mind!
Ask yourself, why do you want everyone to love you? – be honest with yourself!
The truth is, you can’t be loved by everyone! – and if you try to make everybody love you, you’re moving down two very unhealthy pathways; People-Pleasing or/and Manipulation.
Some people just don’t like to be alone! So they are jumping around from person to person, just to feel some sense of company. If you’re one of those people, I will challenge you to ask yourself, why don’t you like to be alone? Why do you need to be together with someone all the time?
I have people in my life who don’t like to be alone. It’s always turning into the same pattern of other people getting super annoyed by the constant need for attention and company.
I, myself, am an ambivert! Most of the time, I’m an introvert and need alone time to recharge and have peace and silence around me, but other times, I can be very social and want to have fun. I’m not a shy person, I just don’t always know what to talk with people about, and I HATE small talk. So because of my introverted nature and my need for alone-time, I don’t have any personal experiences with the constant need for company.
On the other hand, I have quite a bit of experience with getting annoyed by having someone on my tail all the time. There was a particular girl I went to 10th grade with. She was heavily bullied and shut out. I was new to the school and didn’t know anyone, so when I saw how the others treated this girl, I tried to be there for her and talk with her.
The other kids told me that I would soon regret it because she is an obnoxious clingy person, and that’s why they don’t want to have anything to do with her. Sure enough, within a couple of months, I couldn’t go anywhere without having her following after me all the time. It even reached the point where I couldn’t even leave in the middle of class to go to the lavatory without having her waiting for me outside the door. She didn’t even have to pee. She was just standing there. For me, that was the last straw, and I asked her to stop following me around. That didn’t help at all…
So I ended up doing something I really don’t like to do… ignoring her… pretending that she didn’t exist… avoiding her… I don’t want to be that person! I don’t want to ignore and avoid anyone! It’s rude to behave like that.
I truly believe everyone deserves to be seen and acknowledged!
– but I couldn’t see any other option because not only were we in class together, I also had to take the same bus to school as her.
I hope this story serves the purpose of showing you why craving other people’s attention and company can be the reason why you’re single and why your relationships don’t work. This girl was extreme – but please don’t be like her!
Go back to the questions earlier in this section, and take an honest look at why you feel the need to be with someone all the time. That is the first step to unlocking more love in your life! It starts with yourself!
Tip #2 – Prioritise Yourself by Getting to Know Yourself Better.
Love isn’t something that is supposed to come from outside, provided by other people! It’s something that should come from within!
The only way you ever would know your own worth is by taking time to explore yourself, your likes and dislikes, and what’s making you happy and unhappy. Other people won’t know these things unless you tell them your preferences. Only by knowing yourself, you can set healthy boundaries and, by doing so, create healthier relationships that would last longer… maybe even for a lifetime, or beyond!
When you truly love and value yourself, you’ll attract more people into your life who also love and value you. Since you radiate self-love and self-worth, the people you will attract into your life will too be on the same energy frequency of self-love and self-worth.
However, as every Lightworker knows, our Light can also attract Energy Vampires and people that won’t be good for us to get too much involved with. Not that they necessarily are bad people – not at all! There are just some people who should be signed as our clients, not as our friends or lovers.
Remember, other people, are NOT your rescue project! It would NEVER be your Life Purpose or Divinely signed assignment to fix anyone or anything. Other people’s messes are other people’s messes! Your Life Purpose Divinely signed assignment, and most importantly, responsibility is to fix your own mess!
When we put other needs before our own, it’s a sign of our own insecurity and lack of self-love and self-worth because we’re seeking other people’s attention (in whatever form that might be). We’re seeking a feeling of being needed and acknowledged.
Tip #3 – Nurturing Your Relationships with Friends and Family.
We often have a tendency to focus on all the things we don’t have rather than focus on the things we DO have. This is one of the major reasons why so many people struggle to manifest their desires! What we focus on is what expands – so if you’re focusing on that, you’re single, and maybe even get stressed or frustrated about it, then it will create an Energy Frequency that will manifest for you to continue to be single.
If you want to feel more love in your life, it’s super important that you channel all your attention and focus on the relationships you already have. NEVER-EVER take any of your relationships for granted – not even family members!
It’s so easy to forget to nurture our relationships with our parents, brothers and sisters because we kind of expect them to always be there for us. While that’s (hopefully) true, it does take two to tango. If you only call your parents or siblings if you need something from them, then you must not be surprised if they start to pull away from you. This is often one of the reasons why family members don’t speak with each other anymore… somewhere down the line, someone acted selfishly and only reached out and wanted to spend time with the rest of the family when they needed something… or the family had given up trying to make a date to see each other because the person never seemed to put in an effort to meet up.
If you aren’t capable of keeping healthy contact with your own family, it’s difficult to manifest new relationships, romantic or friends.
You can also risk losing contact with your family members, even parents, brothers, and siblings, as well as your friends, if you don’t put in an effort to spend time with them. If someone gets a no or excuse enough times, they will eventually stop asking.
The way you treat others, especially those who are closest to you, tells a whole lot about how you treat yourself and how you feel about yourself!
Tip #4 – Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself.
If you’ve been reading my articles and following my work for a while, you know I’m not into pity parties or feeling sorry for oneself!
There is nothing more sabotaging to your Self-Worth, Self-Love, Self-Respect AND Energy Frequency than pulling the victim card!
No matter what has happened to you!
I was a battered child for the first 15 years of my life and have been diagnosed with PTSD since I was 16. I had been bullied in school so severely when I was 13 that my doctor put me on sick leave for 3 months and medicated me while asking my parents to find a new school for me in the meantime.
In other words – I have all the reasons to call myself a victim!
But I don’t!
I never have!
I hate when people call me a victim of child abuse – because I feel it’s belittling and disempowering!
I’m still alive, and I got out!
I’m a survivor… if I am anything!
When people whine about being alone, being single, not having the success they desire, not having kids yet, or anything like that, I’m like, “Then do something about it instead of sitting here and complaining about how difficult your life is!”
I’m not insensitive, quite the opposite actually; I’m a very empathic person! I just don’t have the patience to listen to adults whining about their lives (which is the outcome of their choices) as if they were innocent babies. Because no one is innocent in the way, their life unfolds!
Sure, we can’t control certain things, like death, natural disasters, selfish and hateful people who start wars to gain something, financial crises, pandemics, or other people’s behaviour!
But what we can control, which is also our 100% responsibility, is how we CHOOSE to react to it!
Every time something bad had happened to me or in my life, I had always made an effort to turn the pain around and look at how I best could heal the situation and eventually make it go away.
The child abuse; I reached out to some adults I trusted and had them help me to get away from my mother.
My depressions; I called the doctor and said something was off and I needed help.
My migraine: I’m constantly looking for new treatments to see if something works.
Unhealthy relationships; I’m looking at my part of what makes the relationship unhealthy (remember, it takes two to tango). I take responsibility for that by working on improving myself to become a better person! – and then slowly walk away from that person.
Breakups: Again, looking at my part for why it didn’t work out. Again take responsibility for it.
I also look at every single relationship in my life (romantic, friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, clients, people texting with on Insta – both in DMs and comments) as an opportunity for growth and development.
Every single person we have an exchange of communication with all have something important to teach us, and we teach them!
It’s a major step in the right direction of Self-Love and Self-Worth to own up to our parts in why things aren’t as we like them. Taking responsibility for the status quo of our lives and how we got here. Because it’s only by doing so that we can invite change and healing in! Without that healing, we will just bring the same patterns into any new relationship we will create moving forward.
Now I want to hear from you;
What are you doing to bring more Love into your life?
Let me know in the comments on the Insta post below!
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